A Real-Time Reflection

Processing current events, emotions, and the need for community

It’s Sunday. It’s a snow day and I absolutely LOVE a good snow day (I have all my snacks ready), but today my heart is heavy, I am sad and I can’t help but struggle to find joy at a time where the world feels like it’s on fire.

*warning*

Can I keep it real and human and talk about current events. Read on if you’re open to healthy discussions, otherwise this post may not be for you.

What’s happening in Minneapolis right now is deeply concerning and could be in any other city, including the one you live in. The death by federal agents of two American citizens, Renee Good a few weeks ago and Alex Jeffrey Pretti yesterday, saddens me so much. I was at the mall with my kids when I heard about Alex’s death and I just felt a level of sadness for him, his family, this country and for all of us. This isn’t normal. We are witnessing a level of death, grief and loss live, like a bad movie and the impact to our mental health and nervous system is grave.

Both Renee Good and Alex Jefferey Pretti, could be any of us. No matter where you stand politically, you have the right to peacefully protest for causes that are important to you. It’s called the First Amendment. I remember when I was younger, my father would take us to peaceful protests about different causes, especially when it was in support of issues impacting Haiti. From NY to DC my sisters would make signs and walk and protest PEACEFULLY with our parents. I always felt safe. And as I got older, I thought how lucky we were that my parents instilled the belief in fighting for what you believe is right.

So to see two people, who based on clear video footage peacefully protesting dying just makes me sick to stomach.

So here I am writing my feelings because I simply didn’t know what else to do or how to process this. I refuse to normalize innocent people dying. I just can’t. I yearn for us to come together as a community and build, regardless of color, political belief, socio-economic status, whatever measure we as a society has allowed to divide us, we need to remove them and realize in the words of Maya Angelou that “we are more alike than different.”

Now more than ever we need community. I need community. And I also need to protect my peace in whatever small ways I can, through rest, movement, writing, turning my phone off (because the dooms scrolling is very real), leaning on my spirituality and remembering that I’m allowed to feel it all without being consumed by it. Days like today just feels harder to not feel overwhelmed by it, but I’m trying not to.

This is one of the realities of getting older, we can’t control the world, but we can still care deeply about it and be intentional about how we take care of ourselves inside of it.

As I get older, I’m much more aware of acknowledging how I’m feeling in real-time. It’s ok to feel sad, to be empathetic, to be angry, it just means that you care. The key to navigating those emotions is learning how to balance them with caring for yourself in ways that are healing and nourishing for you.