What I Know Now
A Mother’s Day collection of truths from women who’ve lived them
The deeper I get into midlife, the more I find myself reflecting. Reflecting on the life I’ve lived, decisions I’ve made that didn’t always pan out, experiences I’ve had and anticipation for what’s to come in this next phase of life. With those moments of reflection comes all the lessons that I’ve learned along the way.
So, as I was thinking about what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day on Candidly Midlife, I kept coming back to the beauty in the life lessons that shape who I am and the clarity that comes with those lessons. I also started thinking about my daughters and how I want to share these lessons with them.
I decided to reach out to my network of midlife mamas who I know are in the same season of reflection and wisdom to ask them one question “what truth do you want your children to know about life that took you years to learn?”
The responses were profound, and they honored what Mother’s Day is all about, celebrating the women in our lives who care for us, love us, pour into us and see us for who we are. But it’s also about passing on the knowledge to the next generation of women and mothers.
These women didn’t hold back. Read Slowly
On Living Fully & Without Waiting
I want my children to know that life is not about any kind of rubric. You build and live the life you want now. Do not wait until the end when you are slow and gray, to live. Enjoy your life and exercise your brain. Soak up knowledge and experiences. Help someone else in this life. Do something to make this place better and by all means LIVE.
Christina 52
On Presence, Time & What Truly Matters
“Show up…for yourself and for the people you love. I spent years chasing things when what truly mattered was time. As my husband (my bestie) always says ‘accumulate memories, not stuff.’ The moments you’re fully present for are the ones that will mean everything in the end.”
Candy Girl, 50
It always works out. Trust God’s timing and His plan, and remember that no matter what comes your way, things will fall into place. When you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or uncertain, shift your focus to the blessings in your life. You’ll start to see that things aren’t as bad as they may seem.
DeBorah, 47
On Freedom, Courage & Becoming
“The less you care about what people think… the more courage you will have. “ - Shana, Age 47
When you stop bending yourself out of shape to fit spaces never meant for you, something shifts. The right doors open. The right people show up. The life that unfolds becomes one you couldn’t have scripted — not because you got lucky, but because you finally got out of your own way.
AG, 45
I want my children to know that everyone has their own circle. You can be kind, loyal, supportive and still not be a part of it. It took me years to understand that no amount of effort can force a place in someone’s life if they don’t truly want you there. Be good to people but don’t lose yourself trying to earn acceptance. Pay attention to who welcomes you naturally, values your presence and gives the same care you give them. Be mindful of who you allow into your circle.
Landy, 57
You can care deeply about people, jobs, opportunities, or dreams and still outgrow them. Peace comes from choosing what aligns with your current values and your spirit not just what feels familiar or what you think is expected. You are allowed to reinvent yourself. Allowed to rest. Allowed to change direction. Allowed to pursue joy simply because it makes you feel alive. Becoming is a lifelong process.
Jocelyn, 48
Thank you to all my friends and family who participated. I’m surrounded by some truly amazing women. Happy Mother’s Day to all who have the blessing of having a mom who is alive and present. I also want to extend a heartfelt hug to those who are celebrating a mom in heaven. Losing a mother is a profound loss that is unimaginable. May you feel your mother’s love and presence surrounding you today.
Now your turn, tell me, what other truths would you add to this list?